“Most of what weighs you down is not yours to carry” – Anonymous
It’s great to celebrate the freedom of a nation, & feel part of all the emotion & bonhomie that comes along with it. Anyone that’s ever lived in chains of any kind, anywhere in the world, for any period of time, will tell you the immense meaning of breathing, speaking, walking & expressing free! Yet, most modern, civilized, educated, & ‘free’ people seem to spend entire lifetimes surrendered to conditioning that is imposed on them since birth. They live unquestioningly being chained to these bondages in disguise – that promise order but kill spontaneity; that promise security but make the mind joyless; that glorify the material exterior but ignore the spiritual core; that over value diplomacy & ‘appearing good’ more than ‘being good’, while being forthright & original.
Sophisticated sheep is still that – sheep; living to be treated as a herd & find its worth in being sheared. If you find yourself perfectly non complaining about this, that’s okay, & your right. But, if your soul has started experiencing the harsh truth & the claustrophobia of this, read on. Here are some ways of being that I personally try to stay as mindful of as possible, in my own life; some more easy, some less. I need them all the more, being an empath, & thus, all the more sensitive to the misery of living inauthentically. There is much that I have imbibed through my own spiritual journey towards seeking greater simplicity, joy, & peace I so immensely value, but here I share 5 ways. Feel free to try as little, or as much of whatever resonates & makes sense; & gracefully leave behind what doesn’t, at the moment.
5 ways to get to avoid living an ordinary, inauthentic life!
1. Free yourself from the need to live a lifestyle only because others do
Whether it’s the latest version of iPhone, or that expensive sports car, buy it ONLY if YOU truly need it. This applies even if you can very well afford it; going into debt for it should be out of question! This also applies to “stuff” in the language of the brilliant American comedian & social critic, the late George Carlin, that you love bomb your kids with. It is very difficult to experientially be able to explain this concept to someone who is used to equating a successful life simply with material paddings; it can even make one talking against harmless hoarding sound preachy & holier than thou. I know our current world has too many goodies, & this is not a call to practice ‘denial’.
For now, let it suffice to say that buying something only for the ego boost that you think it will create for you in your social circle, is not ‘need’. That’s just artificial conditioning that thrives on creating a bigger vacuum & a smaller sense of self in our lives. It is a never ending loop, exceedingly fleeting in the happiness it affords. All of us are guilty at some time of buying clothes that we only wore once; food that sat for months in the freezer before being trashed. But, if we repeatedly refuse to learn from this, or even notice it, that might be an issue. If you are not even sure how that 100 inch home theater system is going to enrich your life, other than the initial thrill, & the thrice a year party of people being forced to watch a movie on it, ditch it! Use that money for something that might truly fill your soul, & try to truly go into your soul, to figure what this might be. Do not ask the neighbor!
2. Free yourself from the circle of endless social distractions
Not every person you end up talking to; not every social circle you are introduced to; not every gathering that presents you an opportunity of being part of it, has actual worth to meaningfully enrich your life & character. Many can just be demanding energy traps. If you are truly someone who does not even vaguely believe in the meaning of life unless it is through the lens of the next social event, do not force yourself into self imposed isolation, just to test this out! You will end up feeling depressed, & imprisoned before you know it, & be back into seeking social company with a bigger vengeance! Take smaller, more reasonable steps.
However, I truly believe a change of this kind can only come when the call for it comes from deep within; else it’s just superficial effort, & wasted time. On the other hand, if you are someone who has started feeling drained by social demands that earlier excited you; who has started becoming more aware of the inherent superficial conduct & gossip that does usually accompany indiscriminate & incessant socializing, do not delay re evaluating the true value of different social expectations, & prioritizing those that truly matter for the right reasons. One pointer is letting go of people who make you feel guilty for wanting solitude; or who are not the kinds who you can depend on through thick & thin.
3. Free yourself from forever desiring a structured existence
That we must always be aiming for, or be engaged in something obviously productive, of quantifiable worth, especially in the eyes of other people is such a moth eaten process, that its failure to produce any true worth of lasting happiness can not be overstated! No wonder, this is one of the major creators of anxiety, depression, & low self worth among scores of modern humans, including young children. Being laidback, even lazy every once in a while is okay, even beautiful & de stressing. Life is not meant to be lived as a constant ticking off a list of lofty expectations from yourself or your children. Plus, it is as vital to experience boredom, restlessness, & idleness not just for us to be driven to dig into our deepest dormant creative genius, life calling, & ingenuity but also to find true value in the experience of fruitful work, & to truly cherish its worth.
The most maturity & the deepest wisdom that I can ever said to have gained from life as of now, is solely from the stretch when I felt the most incomplete; unfulfilled, & unchallenged creatively. Those qualities might not be quantifiable like money is, but trust me they are far more invaluable to developing your character! They will underline what I bring to every aspect of my life today, & how I learn to live it better, especially when life doesn’t make things go my way, which it often won’t! They are also what authentically guide the content out of me for this article.
4. Free yourself from being confined by your religion
If you feel the need to stay connected to something that feels infinitely more powerful than you, & makes you feel well guided, embrace spirituality instead. There is nothing, I believe wrong with any religion, although I am not a literary scholar of any of them. I have heard & read wise people of all religions arrive at the same universal truths. However, I also unfortunately see how often religions & rituals when adhered to without a larger spiritual understanding, blind. They then, narrow down a person’s thinking, their wisdom, their perspective, & most importantly their capacity to be kind, nonjudgemental, even logical!
Always remember, all languages; cultures; religions only flow from the all pervading consciousness. If you can find means to connect to that source directly, you will automatically be guided to practice only as much, or as little religion as truly brings depth to your soul, or joyful meaning to your day. The underlying peace, strength, joy, & clarity you feel in your life, is the only parameter to know if you are indeed divinely well guided.
5. Free yourself from being ruled by fear
Choose being ruled by love & joy instead. Cliched as it might sound, it’s well worth every bit of our understanding to try & live, & take our life decisions from a place of joy. There are many times people are asked what is that one REALISTIC gift they would choose to acquire overnight, if they could. I would choose fearlessness. I have seen compassion, dependability, love, morality & more loose their inherent power when faced by the demon of fear, & insecurity. Assuming all other valuable traits constant, fearlessness is that one single quality that allows one to do what is right, instead of what is easy. A fair & fearless enemy can often be better than a well intentioned but cowardly friend.
‘Fearless’ is not the misunderstood idea of endangering others by reckless death defying road stunts; portraying an entitled arrogant exterior; or uninhibited public cussing! It’s about the quiet & mostly unassuming understated strength of being able to stand up to any bitter inconvenience life throws at you, with least cowering. It is about not being scared to stand in your truth, knowing you might well have to often walk alone. It’s about not pleasing just to fit in, knowing this might cost you the easy security of the herd; be it a family, a religious organization, or just a kitty circle. And it includes the ability to say a happy no, every time a sales person tries to profit on our conditioned fear mode by selling us insurance on every single mundane household item! So, it is also becomes about the ultimate spiritual trust in the ability of the universe to watch our back, & continue to supply us with all the resources we need for living well. And, that I tell you, can be more liberating than you think!